If I never have to type the word “goon” again it’ll be a goddamn miracle. That’s the risk you run when making a sort of time capsule film I guess.

Despite Osamason’s objections to the prior, that goonicide meme probably gave gooning a few more months of relevance so for that I am thankful, but I do feel so exhausted by this gooning session of a short film, probably the one I’ve worked the longest on.

Hard to even really speak on it at this point, despite some strange jealousy I have of this film for being more popular than Dead Bort, I am so thankful this connected with the people and I’m so thankful for the opportunities it’s given me. I feel like after so many attempts this was finally the film that made people take me a bit more seriously as a director/writer, doing my own thing but that thing is based and good. I think I can easily bang out another Gooners-esque film, one of internet transgressions and dark, ironic comedy (in fact that’s probably the next thing I’m gonna film anyway lol), but the other side of me does long for more traditionally structured films that really stretch audience’s patience and really fuck people around more as opposed to just straight up pummelling them.

I want to psychologically torture my audience not assault them essentially.

Thanks that one montage from The Rules of Attraction, I’m happy you’re not that popular so people don’t know I’m ripping you off. Whenever I release something I get so unbelievably stressed and anxious and questioning my abilities as a filmmaker cause usually I’m disgustingly self-confident but days like this, days like the Dead Bort launch, worry is always on the front of my mind (fuck, not even joking I forgot to take my anxiety med, wait, gimme a second).

Okay, we back.

Might try to stay offline for a few hours, return to the crops I’ve cultivated in my time away and bask in its glory then. Thinking of smoking weed through a Prime bottle and freestyling in auto-tune but I might do that another day when I’m not taking the shine away from Gooners. Think it’ll be a beautiful Valentine’s Day watching the quintessential gooning classics: In the Mood for Love and 2046. I have the Criterions for those so I’m hyped to get my weirdly green hue on!

I really actually appreciate the idea of Valentine’s Day, maybe it’s the capitalist coming out of my wrist but a day for people being in love is just so pleasant. And like, the aesthetic of Valentine’s Day is pretty cool as well, I feel like it paints a really visceral image for people, really pink, hearts, cupid, St. Valentine’s. It’s a day to love and that’s beautiful. Thank you Hallmark!!! <3

- Nick Murcott